wish you were(n't) here
by birdie bones
Summary: Dick tries (and fails) to run from his problems. Slade isn't the man he used to be. Slade/Dick, past Wally/Dick. AUish.


**full summary:** Robin is forced to travel to Berlin as Dick Grayson for a charity event, and the team is assigned the task of protecting him. However, rumors of a kidnapping plot and the appearance of an old enemy turns an otherwise boring trip into a whirlwind of passion and danger. Slade/Dick, past Wally/Dick.

**author's notes:** hi everyone! so i'm not too happy with this but i've been working on it forever and i just needed to publish _something_, you know?

anyway, a bit of backstory is needed. this is an AU that kind of combines YJ with TT, which stemmed from my intense disappointment over that fact that Slade and Dick never really interacted in YJ. :/ so basically here's the (very important) deal:

robin was with the titans from ages 12 to 14. after the whole trigon situation, the JL swooped in and disbanded the team (bc hello, a demon took over the world and they didn't even try to call superman!) the YJ team is formed shortly afterward, where robin has been ever since. there's probably not going to be any other TT characters in the story bc its set almost entirely in berlin, but any sequels (?!) will definitely have the rest of the titans mentioned and/or featured.

ALSO: this is a slash fanfiction work with slade/dick as the main pairing. Dick is 17 and slade is god knows how old? so if this isn't your cup of tea then please don't read.

its super confusing and kinda silly (also messy and unbeta'd -_-;) i know. i'm basically screwing with both canons every way i please, kukuku. ;)

but yeah. enjoy!

* * *

**wish you were(n't) here**

* * *

- o -

"Are we supposed to be undercover as your servants for the entire trip?" Wally groaned, struggling with the weight of the loaded trolley in front of him. "Cause if so-"

"What was that?" Dick responded loudly, the glee in his voice unmistakable. "Speak up. I'm not paying you to mumble."

You're not paying me at a-" Wally started, but was cut off when the trolley almost collided with that of another bellboy's. "-Oops. Sorry!" He told the male, but only received a glare in return.

"Oh, _honestly_." Dick sighed dramatically, elbowing one of the three bodyguards that encircled him. "Good help is so hard to find nowadays."

The two boys were walking through the crowded Tegal Airport- well, actually, walking is a subjective word, for both cases. Dick was strolling, while Wally struggled behind a trolley stacked high with suitcases belonging to the black-haired male beside him. The redhead was clothed in full bellhop uniform, complete with silly hat and all, and was none too happy about his first costume (or role) of the trip.

Dick wasn't happy either; but he at least had enough practice schooling his emotions and putting on a front for the people around him, courtesy of Bruce. And there were certainly a number of people; besides the usual amount of civilians you would normally find at an airport, the paparazzi was out in full force today for the sole purpose of snapping a photo of the Wayne heir. Dick flashed a dazzling smile toward a group of photographers before continuing on to the exit of the airport, intent on keeping up appearances.

Wally bristled at being referred to as the 'help'. "Why couldn't Conner be the bellboy? He'd have an easier time than I am." Navigating a cart piled with suitcases through a crowded airport was not any easier than it looked.

"Because Conner is the chauffeur." The facade slid off of Dick's face in an instant, replaced by a look of annoyed fatigue. He had been awake for the past 36 hours- first chasing after the Riddler in Gotham, then reporting to Happy Harbor for training with Black Canary, and finally back to Gotham to board a flight to Berlin with the rest of his team- a 9 hour flight in which Dick obtained approximately zero hours of sleep due to various on-flight distractions.

"So?" Wally grumbled, swerving the cart around a family of four taking a picture. "Why couldn't I do that?"

Dick dropped the act completely, keeping his voice lowered so none of his bodyguards could hear him. "Because you wouldn't be convincing enough. You're still kind of short, Wally."

"And you _aren't_?" Wally only had maybe one inch on the younger boy, but hey, he was proud of that inch.

"I'm not the one who's undercover, remember?" Dick reminded him, frowning when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket for the fifth time since he left the plane. He pulled it out and answered curtly, listened for a few seconds, then hung up just as abruptly.

"Fine." Wally picked up right where he had left off. "But what about Kaldur? I'm sure he could have-"

"Oh, you mean Kalvin Dunham and his supermodel girlfriend, Ardina Cromwell?" Dick said loudly. "Why yes, I do believe that's them over there."

Wally glanced to his left. Indeed, there was a couple a few yards away that vaguely resembled Aqualad and Artemis, without the arrows and gills. They were walking together hand in hand. The paparazzi that had been following Dick ever since he had entered the airport stopped to take a few quick shots of Kaldur and Artemis, despite the fact that they weren't actually famous. Dick rolled his eyes. _How gullible_.

Wally sighed. "Should I even ask about M'gann?"

"You mean you don't recognize the bodyguard behind me?" Dick asked lowly, gesturing to the burly, six foot five bald man walking behind him. M'gann gave a short nod before doing a quick visual sweep of their surroundings.

"Okay. One more question." Wally panted as they passed through the automatic doors of the airport's exit. The weather outside was a cool 60 degrees, typical for a sunny, mid-May afternoon in the city. Dick removed his sunglasses from the top of his head and put them on properly.

"Yes?" Dick spotted Conner out of the corner of his eye, wearing a black suit and grumpily holding up a sign that said "Grayson". He snickered despite himself.

"Are you gonna be a jerk to us for the entire mission?"

Dick stopped abruptly, making the three bodyguards behind him bump into each other. He lowered his sunglasses and gave the redhead a look that had a tinge of coldness to it. "Only you, Wally." He murmured. "Only you."

* * *

- o -

Why only Wally? Well, the answer is quite simple: Dick did _not_ want to be on vacation with his ex-boyfriend.

Okay, so technically Wally wasn't Dick's ex because they had never _officially_ been together. They had never gone on any dates, nor had they ever held hands or kissed in public. They were just two boys who spent all of their time together- and occasionally had sex with each other.

So what was Dick supposed to call it?

The duo had started out as best friends, that much was true; but through a combination of unsupervised sleepovers and bottles of liquor stealthily smuggled into the manor, they became something more than that. Video game competitions led to passionate makeouts on the couch. Tutoring sessions escalated into blowjobs behind the desk in Bruce's study. And on nights when the Wayne heir was out patrolling the city and Alfred was asleep on the other side of the manor, the two boys would stay up until dawn exploring each other's bodies. The memory of one such night had Dick subtly squirming against the seat of the black escalade he was currently riding in.

The dark-haired male was slumped against the window, his head propped up on his hand as he watched the city go by. Conner was driving, and M'gann was seated to Dick's left, having opted out of taking passenger seat because she and Conner were arguing over something. The other two guards were up front and in the seat behind him, respectively. The car was dead silent and he was glad for it- it allowed him to focus on his thoughts.

Dick, being seventeen years old and one of the most handsome and richest boys at Gotham Academy, was no stranger to sexual experimentation. But it was different with Wally. Wally was his best friend, the person who knew all of his secrets, the only person who could make him laugh without even trying. So how could Dick _not_ develop feelings for the redhead? They were perfect together, and Dick had assumed that the other boy felt the same way. He had thought that there was more to their relationship than two best friends relieving sexual tension with each other.

Unfortunately and unbeknownst to Dick, Wally didn't quite agree. Which is why, one crisp night during late March, about four months after they started sleeping together, Wally had rolled over on Dick's bed and whispered to his nearly unconscious companion, "I think I might ask Artemis out."

Dick hadn't said anything. He also didn't say anything three days later, when Wally and Artemis officially became a couple. Even after the shock wore off he kept silent; filled to the brim with devastation but with no one to tell. His closest friend was the person who had hurt him the most, and Wally had no idea.

Indeed, that was probably the worst part about the whole horrible situation; the fact that Wally thought he and Dick were still friends. Joking around during missions, teasing him during downtime- it was as if nothing had changed. And Dick _was_ friends with Wally; how could he not be? He knew that Wally hadn't _purposely_ ripped his heart up.

Privately, Dick hadn't had a chance to speak with Wally at all- everything had happened way too fast. During the first two weeks he was too angry to even look at the other boy, let alone confront him- but at that point, Dick wasn't even sure what he would have said. He couldn't think of anything he could have told the other boy that wouldn't leave him unbelievably embarrassed. A confession was out of the question- there was no point in professing his love when he had already been rejected. Dick was heartbroken, but he wasn't about to put his pride on the line as well.

Besides, he knew he would get over it- eventually. But until then, Dick suffered in silence, putting on a front for the team and his mentor and yearning for the day when he got over the redheaded imbecile and could move on with his life. The heartbreak hurt, yes, but above all things Dick just wanted it to be over, for things between him and Wally to go back to normal. He just wished he could put the whole thing behind him, and forget the horrible mistake he made of falling in love with his best friend.

In conclusion: Dick was not looking forward to the next two weeks, for obvious reasons.

He _had_ been. It was about a month and a half ago, early on in the 'breakup', when Bruce had suggested that Dick go to Berlin in his stead for the annual WayneCorp International Charity Ball. Dick had jumped at the opportunity. He had been aching for a vacation, and it hadn't come at a more perfect time. No school, no getting his ass kicked by supervillians, and especially no Wally and Artemis, who at this point were doing things like holding hands around the cave and calling each other pet names during team-wide mental linkups.

But then came the catch. A week and a half before takeoff, Bruce had informed Dick that the rest of the team would be accompanying him as well.

Dick had protested. He had even gone as far as to hint (but not outright admit, because that would lead to an uncomfortable conversation that he was unwilling to have) that he and Wally weren't on the best of terms and that being overseas with the older boy for two weeks would kind of be a disaster. Besides, why did he need the team with him? He had been outside of the country by himself dozens of times, and Bruce had never felt the need to give him an entourage _then_.

His objections had been cut short when Bruce pulled up a folder full of death threats on the batcomputer.

"_I've been getting these since January. They've all been traced back to a rising terrorist organization in East Germany. They call themselves RAF2."_

_Dick leaned over the back of Bruce's chair, scanning the emails. "How original. What's their deal?"_

"_They appear to be the newest generation of the original Red Army Faction. They don't seem to have any clear goals yet, but they're extremely anti-capitalism." _

"_And now they've targeted you?"_

"_Not exactly." Bruce clicked on a few links and the front page of the Gotham Gazette came up on the large screen. "WAYNE WARD DOES DEUTSCHLAND: Richard Grayson to head this year's ICB" Beneath the headline was a picture of Dick with his arms crossed, standing casually in front of the family limo._

"_Oh."_

"_They don't seem to be too dangerous, but I want to make sure you're protected at all times. They've been connected to a few factory bombings in south Berlin these last couple of months, and it's rumored that they have a few metahumans among their ranks." _

"_So you want us to shut them down, right?"_

"_Ideally, yes. But I want you to leave it up to the team. It'll be their mission, not yours."_

_"But-"_

_"You've got to worry about guarding yourself when the team isn't around. I won't make you do both."_

That was Dick's only consolation prize.

So here he was, borderline miserable as he slumped against the window of the car, silently adding up all of the ways his vacation plan had failed epically.

_Let's see... what I thought would be a relaxing trip to Germany has now turned into a mission. My ex-best friend and the rest of my team were forced to come with me. I am privately extremely upset with the aforementioned ex best friend, and he doesn't know this because we haven't had an _actual_ conversation about his colossal friendship foul. Also, he and Artemis have their tongues down each other's throats every five minutes and I was hoping to catch a break from all of that. Not to mention the fact that a terrorist organization wants to kill me. _

Dick groaned and tilted his head back against the smooth leather seats. _Perfect_.

* * *

- o -

After approximately 45 minutes, the escalade pulled up in front of The Leonardo, a prestigious 32-story hotel in Central Berlin. Dick wasted no time in exiting the car and strolling into the building, his bodyguards (and M'gann) struggling to keep up with him. After a quick check in and a 60 second elevator ride to the 17th floor, Dick stood before his hotel room, card key in hand. He nodded a goodbye to the guards before entering.

The room was large, with a high ceiling and a walk-in closet with sliding mirrored doors that took up most of the west wall, next to the entrance. The lush carpet was a deep burgundy color. There was a queen-sized bed with cream-colored silk sheets in between two mahogany nightstands. A matching mahogany cabinet stood against the wall opposite the bed, with a large flat screen TV perched on top of it. Located a few feet to the left of the cabinet was the door to the bathroom. The balcony took up the entire east wall, the glass doors offering Dick an incredible view of the city's skyline.

It was nice, but the dark haired male's exhaustion prevented him from appreciating it properly. The room wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, anyway.

Dick kicked off his shoes and flopped back onto the bed. He knew it wouldn't be long before the rest of the team got to the hotel. Wally, Kaldur, and Artemis should be arriving by cab from the airport within the next twenty minutes. Conner was probably on his way up with all of Dick's suitcases, and M'gann was most likely selecting a room for the duration of their stay. Bruce had rented out the entire 17th floor, as well as the 18th, for security reasons.

Dick settled into the opulent bedding, mentally trying to prepare himself for the days to come. _Why me?_ He thought with a groan.

Although…. Now that he was in the lap of luxury after an intensely uncomfortable flight, Dick wasn't able to muster up the same dislike for the situation that he had on the plane. Finally alone in his hotel room, Dick was able to admit that despite everything, he was still glad to be here.

_You're being kind of a brat, aren't you?_ He admitted to himself with a sigh. _I mean, it's still a vacation, right? Wouldn't you rather deal with this here than at home?_

_Besides_, Dick thought, folding his arms behind his head. _You barely even have to interact with Wally. And you get to do the whole spoiled rich kid bit for two weeks, what_'s _so bad about that? _

The black haired male sat up, feeling slightly better. He had just enough time to place a quick call to the manor ("_Yes, Alfred, I'll be careful. Don't worry."_) before there came a knock on his door.

He slid off of the bed and crossed over to the other side of the room. Opening the door revealed a scowling Superboy, his arms stacked with the Wayne heir's suitcases. Dick stepped aside to let him in, stifling another yawn. "Thanks, Conner."

"Where should I put these?" The taller boy responded brusquely.

Dick gestured to the closet. "Over there- careful!" He added when Conner made to drop his armful. The clone rolled his eyes, but set the suitcases down gently. "What do you have in there, anyway?"

"Knives. Explosives. You know, the usual." Dick said, moving back over towards the bed.

"Oh." The clone stood awkwardly in front of the closet, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't look as if he was in a hurry to leave.

Dick furrowed his brow in confusion. "Is there anything else? I'd like to get some rest before everyone else gets here."

"Uhh... yeah." Conner shuffled around a bit. "What's up with you and Wally?"

It took a moment for Dick to process the question he was just blindsided with. "I- What?"

"The way you've been acting around him lately- it's kind of strange." Conner elaborated. The genuine curiosity in his voice was the second most shocking thing about the last twenty seconds.

Why was Conner, of all people, asking him about this? Dick knew that the clone was extraordinarily perceptive, but why would he approach Dick about it instead of keeping it to himself? Was he asking on behalf of someone else?

"Nothing's wrong." Dick laughed unconvincingly. "I've just been really stressed out lately."

Conner looked doubtful. "But I-"

"Look, I'd really like to get some rest before everyone else gets here." Dick interrupted, crossing his arms across his chest. "So if you don't mind…" He gestured to the door.

"Uh…" Conner looked as if he were arguing with himself. Dick waited, irritation and confusion building within him. _  
_

Finally, the clone huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Fine, whatever. Sorry," He added as he made his way over to the door.

Dick frowned as Conner exited, yanking the door closed behind him. _The hell was that about?_ He knew that trying to keep a secret from Conner was nearly impossible, but that wasn't what had the Wayne heir concerned. The real question was, why did Conner _care_? The clone wasn't the type to pry into other people's business.

Shaking his head, Dick laid back down on the comforter, too tired to contemplate the matter further.

* * *

- o -

"Why do we have to sit through these when The Bat's not here?" Wally complained, throwing himself back on a stack of pillows. "They're _sooo_ boring. Cut us a break, Kal."

"It is required. We need to make sure that everyone is on the same page." Kaldur informed the redhead, but even he didn't sound too keen on the briefing himself. The older boy's fatigued facial expression was very similar to the one Dick wore earlier.

Although Dick could empathize, he was certainly more well-rested than he had been earlier. He had been out like a light almost immediately after Conner had left, and had only woken up fifteen or so minutes ago when Kaldur had knocked on his door and informed him of the briefing. Kaldur didn't say anything about the fact that he had let Dick sleep for a good four hours, but Dick thanked him for it all the same as they walked to the Atlantean's room.

The Wayne heir was also grateful for the fact that this was the most casual mission briefing he had ever attended. He, Wally, and Conner were all seated on the floor in front of Kaldur's bed. It seemed as if Wally had gathered up all of the spare pillows from everyone's room and was now reclining on a mountainous pile. Conner was on the far right, his arms folded across his chest. M'gann was hovering in the air to Dick's left, pointedly ignoring the clone.

Artemis had hopped up on the dresser behind them and was filing her nails. Kaldur himself was sitting cross-legged on the edge of his bed, a laptop balanced on his knee. He cleared his throat and began the briefing.

"As you all should know, the team has been assigned to protect Richard Grayson during his two-week stay in Berlin. Mr. Grayson has been receiving death threats for the past month, intent on keeping him out of Germany. However, Mr. Grayson and his Guardian," Kaldur flashed Dick a mildly irritated glare. Dick responded with a light shrug. "Have decided not to heed these warnings. This is where we come in."

Wally yawned loudly. Dick resisted the urge to elbow him in the ribs, an action that would have come so easily to him a couple of months ago. Now it would just feel awkward.

"The threats have been traced back to a small terrorist group calling themselves RAF2. When we aren't protecting Dick we will be investigating this organization and hopefully shutting them down. Ultimately, our main objective is to protect Dick- who, of course, will be the only one of us who isn't undercover. However, he will still be donning the costume from time to time, especially if we have to chase after a lead.

Artemis and I are undercover as Kalvin Dunham and Ardina Cromwell, respectively. In public you will refer to us as such. M'gann will be posing as one of Richard's bodyguards. Her name is Ralph Spriggs if it ever comes up- but I doubt it will."

"Conner and Wally have been assigned various roles, depending on the situation. For example..." Kaldur tapped on a few keys. "On Wednesday, Dick has a photo shoot, and you two will be undercover as set handlers. The details of your different assignments have been downloaded to your communicators. In the meantime," Kaldur gave them both a dry look. "Try to stay out of trouble."

"Who, us?" Wally asked innocently, flashing Conner a mischievous grin, only to find the clone snoring lightly.

Kaldur looked as if he wanted to roll his eyes. "That's about it. Thank you all for your attentiveness- for the most part."

"So… what should we do now?" Artemis drawled, looking as if she was close to falling asleep herself.

"We need surveillance set up on every floor of the hotel, as well as outside every building surrounding us. M'gann, Artemis, and I will set up cameras internally. Conner, Dick, and Wally, you guys will be-"

"Outside? Yes!" Wally cried, pumping his fist in the air. "I feel like I've been cooped up in this hotel room for days."

"It's only been a couple of hours." Artemis reminded him, flicking her emery board towards Conner. It hit him in the back of his head and he awoke with a start.

"Felt like forever without you, babe." Wally told the blonde with a grin, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her down into his lap.

Dick turned away as they kissed, feeling the ever-present twist in his gut. He got to his feet as Kaldur adjourned the meeting.

"I'll meet you guys outside." He muttered without a backwards glance.

* * *

- o -

Perched on the edge of the roof of the Leonardo, Robin felt at peace. Cars rushed by thirty-three stories beneath him. The lights of the surrounding buildings twinkled like tiny gems against a midnight backdrop.

He was thousands of miles away from Gotham and yet he felt at home. There was something about the wide, open space presented to him- the offering of a city skyline that he was free to use, to soar through as he wanted- that instantly relaxed him. The reason for his trip, as well as thoughts of his unwanted guests melted away to the back of his mind as he gazed out over his new playground.

_It's not so bad. _He thought as the cool night breeze wash over him_. I can get through this. _

He pushed himself off of the balcony, closing his eyes as the familiar rush of being airborne overtook him. Robin _lived_ for this. He loved the feeling of being free, of having no attachments… that single moment before he started to fall meant _everything_ to him.

He let himself dive down a good ten stories before whipping out his grappling hook and fired it at the building adjacent to the hotel. It wrapped around the fire escape of the 21st floor, and Robin let himself be yanked up towards the platform.

There were three buildings around the hotel that had to have surveillance installed on them. It was Robin who had suggested splitting up to Kid Flash and Superboy. Kid Flash has protested, saying that they would get the job done faster if they worked on the same building at the same time, but the look on Robin's face had made him reconsider. Superboy had just shrugged and taken off.

Robin landed on the fire escape of the building, and then scaled up three stories to the top. He pushed himself up over the ridge then did a forward handstand onto the roof, landing in a low crouch. After a quick glance around, he removed the case containing the micro-cameras from his utility belt and began installing them around the roof, making sure no part was unmonitored.

He worked quickly and efficiently, despite the fact that the last thing he wanted to do was go back to his hotel room. Wally had suggested a board game after they installed the cameras, and surprisingly had met little objection (save for Dick's grimace, which was currently making a re-appearance at the thought).

It was as he was setting the last camera in place that he felt the strange sensation of being watched. The air was still, and he hadn't heard anyone come onto the roof, but Robin couldn't shake the feeling of being stared at.

Without warning, he sent two birdarangs flying towards his back left. They both hit the back wall behind him, but not before Robin saw it: a shift in the darkness. Someone was there.

In the blink of an eye, Robin disengaged two more birdarangs, this time explosives. He hurled them toward his opponent from two different trajectories then charged toward the figure without waiting. Both birdarangs had been dodged, but the light from the small explosions illuminated a tall, muscular figure with a sword strapped to his back.

A bola was discharged next, and Robin smirked when it made contact with the man's midsection, binding his arms to his sides and wrapping tightly around him. A roundhouse kick to his jaw had the figure hitting to ground heavily on his back, grunting in pain. Robin was crouched over him in a flash, taser pointed at his throat.

"Guten Abend." Robin greeted conversationally. "Kann ich Ihnen mit allem helfen?"

The figure below him started to laugh- a deep, warmly amused rumble that nearly dislodged Robin from his position atop the man's chest. A sliver of moonlight illuminated the man's mask, revealing it to be two-tone; one side black and one side a burnt orange color.

_Orange?_ Robin's eyes widened behind his mask. _There's no way_-

"Impressive, Robin." The figure drawled in a low voice that made Robin's heart stutter with its familiarity. "I see you've picked up some new toys since I last saw you."

There was no mistaking it.

"_Slade_."


End file.
